Grief

There is a painful part of life called grief, with several stages that some may or may not pass through but there is enough on the world wide web about those.  I want to talk about the guilt of grief.  The moment when the pain, the sorrow the anger or the resentment of the pain is too much and the emotion of guilt creeps in.  Guilty that it is disrupting life this much.  Guilt that it is taking this much life out of you.  Guilt that you can't be more or do more for those that rely on you.  Guilt that you are not strong enough to be ok.  Guilt that you need to have help to come though this or that you rely on someone more than you feel you should.  
In grief the last thing you should feel is guilt.  It is a hard thing that few can truly empathize with.  But yet it is part of it that few talk about.  We live in a culture where people are to be strong or turn to medication to make things right.  Sometimes things are just not right nor will they be and sometimes medication helps us through moments that are tough and are very much needed and sometimes they are not enough.  It is then that we need to do more than hide from the pain and the grief.  I have found the more that I honestly embrace that, yes this sucks; yes, this is hard; and yes, we are not ok, that I allow someone to love.  I am grateful for those tender mercies of love and patience and kindness in a time of deep struggle and sorrow.  I have watched as those closest to me release the shame of guilt through their grief and turn to gratitude.  Even if it is there was no line at the grocery store.  Or your favorite song came on the radio.  
The shame culture we live in (which I will mention more than once because it is such a part of life) teaches us that if we have a weak moment we are weak.  If we do something stupid we are stupid.  LIE!!!  We can have weak moments and be strong.  The strongest and bravest of people have weak moments.  They are strong and brave because they don't let weak moments define them but just the moment.  I did something stupid,  haha, I myself, however am NOT stupid.   I want you to know that those that allow the weak moments to change paradigms allowing them growth and hope become the mighty of the might, the bravest of the brave and those that will lead where few are able to lead.  

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